The Havershiem Hammer Scoop!

Hello folks. This is Ronnie Havershiem, intrepid reporter, hot on the heels of one of America's greatest villains. No folks, I'm not talking about Osama Bin Laden, I'm not even talking about Zombie Elvis Saddam Hussein. These days my nose is sniffing out the foul smell of corruption and vice within America's newest street sensation, the FUCR. For those of you who don't follow this pinnacle of rank "entertainment", the FUCR is nothing more than a group of men, some distasteful women, and a collection of hangers ons who engage in the most brutal and depraved forms of organized sportlery this side of the border. I have delved into this world not as a fan, or even as someone who remotely approves of this "sport", but rather as a seeker of truth and justice. My prey has led me to its lair, and I must now enter the lions den. I do this for you, gentle reader and seeker of truth. I have followed the exploits of the infamous Count Dante for years, and today I am announcing that I will be undertaking an open-air expose of this monstrous person. His arrival out of thin air, and straight into the fat air of the FUCR is cause of concern for all of our children. And let me tell you folks, I won't let you down. I solemnly swear to expose Count Dante for what he is (a murdering monster)! And if in the meantime I need to tear down the FUCR, and those who support it, then so be it! From my first post, this is Ronnie Havershiem, with the Havershiem Hammer Scoop Special Report!